What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize