Dual....:-)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
