When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
