the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
