Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
