Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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