her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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