I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
