Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
