Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize