Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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