Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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