She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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