got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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