Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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