I just saw a hot homeless man
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
