theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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