I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize