The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Enjoy the penises
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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