dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
