I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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