found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
