as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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