No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
