he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
