I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
