I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
