Don't you send me to vm
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
