her vagine was all disorganized.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
