I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize