watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Everything about him screamed your future.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
