He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
