I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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