Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
