So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
