Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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