I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
