hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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