why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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