Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
