wrigley field is MILF paradise
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
