Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize