I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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