Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
