i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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