Buhtt sex?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Damn victory sex feels great
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
