halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
