Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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