you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
