3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stole a fireplace last night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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