I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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