I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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