remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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