about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
