Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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