At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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