Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
