you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
