dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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